Your poem captures the mother-daughter relationship very well, and these lines really resonated with me:

When really all she wants to know
is if she raised a good child,
a good daughter.

The theme of women wanting to be good mothers and raising good daughters is such a universal theme, where obedience and rebellion oftentimes get entangled on what a good woman ultimately is. In the conflict between defining whether a woman has raised a good daughter, especially as Filipina-American women, I think we ultimately want to raise a next generation of rebellious women who are able to stand up for themselves with confidence, where we sometimes find ourselves in conflict with the traditional Filipino notion that women are to be obedient wives and daughters. As you say in your lines:

I want to tell her:
I am good.
Just not in the way she wants.

I definitely understand the push-and-pull of the liberal versus traditional notions of being a “good” Filipina woman, and it is something that we as Filipina-Americans have to continuously grapple with as we assimilate into American standards versus our heritage’s standards. Reminiscent of Laurel Thatcher Ulrich’s quote, “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” This is true, though I’d add, AND women, well-behaved or not, are always subject to what is demanded of them in the present.

Thanks, Jenny, for an awesome poem.

Elsa

We need more Fil-Am writers trying to get their stuff published. And it sounds from your post that you are way too hard on yourself. Good luck!